Confessions of a white belt...

When was the last time you did something that truly made you nervous? Do you remember than tingly feeling in your stomach? How about the dread and tension as it filled your senses as the moment came closer?

For most of us adults, new and uncomfortable situations are few and far between. Job interviews rank up there. As we get old we tend to control our environments to the point where we learn to avoid truly new and uncomfortable situations that initiate feelings of nervousness and stress. However, to grow is to live and the best way to live is to experience new things and new ways of living and being.

Five years ago, I underwent one of these situations when I chose to join a white belt Tae Kwon-Do class at Quest Martial Arts. Puting on the pajamas for the first time and training in my bare feet was unsettling. But I made it thanks to my determination and a great group of people at Quest. This week I will earn my black belt.

This next section is a exert from my Tae Kwon-Do “confessions of a white belt” journal I wrote four years ago.

“A Commitment” by Dean Desrosiers
Sternly and with an accusative tone, he asked me to turn off my Blackberry. Red faced and slightly flustered, I complied.

I was sitting watching my son perform at his Tae Kwon-Do class and I must say, my ego told me not to like this guy-first impression. Sure, Master Dan was good looking, fit and he seemed to have an air about him (no wonder my wife chose this school, Hmmm). Hey, I wasn’t being that bad, I did have the Blackberry on vibrate after all. Just the same, I could tolerate turning the darned contraption off for at least the next 45 minutes of the class. I was to learn, without asking for one, that this black belt fellow had just taught me my first lesson.

Over the next two months, I watched and analyzed Master Dan’s actions as he taught the little dragons class. I thought to myself, “Is this guy is the real thing? When is he going to slip up and curse, break one of those tenants, blow off the cuff?” Goodness, these kids are running around the place doing circles and loops, smiling and giggling - like little kids. The chaos! Who could teach such a class? Instead, I witnessed a consistent man, a confident man who consistently rewarded the good and ignored the bad. I could tell that Master Dan had nothing to prove but I could also see that he wanted to share his gift with others, a gift that was genuine, earned with skill, achievement and integrity.

He gave his gift to nearly everyone he met. Passion, patience and a sense of humour were abundant in his little dragons class where my son attended. Well, my son's body was was there most of the time with his mind often drifting to far off places - in the middle of class. Master Dan was never phased by the children's antics or their inattention. Dan’s magnetism would infect them as they would quickly snap to attention. You could tell by Dan's smile that he truly loved every minute of their time together. To this day the gleam in Dan’s eye when he talks about children warms the soul.

I could sense that Master Dan was different. I found it. He was a champion. You can always tell the winners from the “almost” winners. He was confident and past needing to prove things to people. You could tell he took pride in the achievements of his students, a trait my father always talked about and showed. Is there a better person to help me teach my son about pride, passion, courage, growth, life, hard work and commitment? Yes, I was glad my wife had chosen this school.

For me, at this time, I was a Director of Marketing for a biotechnology company based in Vancouver. I was a successful sales and marketing consultant with clients around the world. I had launched more than 10 industry leading products and I was known across North America as a productive "go to guy" in my industry. I was living the dream. However, what dream was it? I had spent my entire adult life striving for this success yet something was missing. Perhaps I held my blackberry up to my ear for a reason. Maybe I wanted Dan to notice. Maybe I was asking for something?

To be honest, I felt as though my life and job had placed me on a treadmill. Sure, I had a dream job, dream life and who could ask for more? I was busy, busy, busy. Somewhere along the way however, I had lost my direction. I was fat. My body and brain were clogged with grease and fat. I was slow to think, self absorbed, unmotivated and losing my health week by week. Somehow, I could sense that Master Dan could see this part of me and that my "success / busy guy" mask was not working.

I had so much to give others and I so wanted to share that I had stopped giving to my family. I lost my balance. I had lost part of my spirit. The corporate world, the travel and the quest for status was wearing me down. My discomfort was growing and seeing my toes was becoming a challenge let alone actually touching them.

Was I unusual? Was I the only person that had “let himself go at 39ish”? I knew I wasn’t but I realized that this did not matter. I was half dead (at nearly 40 years old) and that I did not want my current conditioning and state to continue to define my life. The path I was traveling down needed to come to an end.

I wasn’t sure what to do or how I wanted to be, but a work-out a couple times at week at Quest Academy seemed like a smart thing to do. If this martial arts training is good enough for my son then a true and honourable man would join his son on this journey. My father always used to say, “I am not asking you to do anything that I have not already done myself”. Perhaps Master Dan could help me learn to turn off the distractions of a busy life? Help me focus on becoming a better person, a mentally and physically fit person, who, in turn will be a better person to others.


Post script: So this week I will earn my Black Belt. Looking back, I realize how far I have come. I now have a new business and new approach to life. I am still a work-a-holic but I believe now that I spend more time with people I care about. Family and fitness first and I focus on working with great clients (people, not corporations).